Wildcard: Awesome Terrible Analogies

The title says it all. These apparently came from the Washington Post, and are hilariously funny. Enjoy!

• He was as tall as a 6′3″ tree.

• The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

• The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object.

• The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

• You know how in “Rocky” he prepares for the fight by punching sides of raw beef? Well, yesterday it was as cold as that meat locker he was in.

• I felt a nameless dread. Well, there probably is a long German name for it, like Geschpooklichkeit or something, but I don’t speak German. Anyway, it’s a dread that nobody knows the name for, like those little square plastic gizmos that close your bread bags. I don’t know the name for those either.

• Fishing is like waiting for something that does not happen very often.

• It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

• The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

• The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

• He felt like he was being hunted down like a dog, in a place that hunts dogs, I suppose.

• He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

• The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.

• She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

• Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

• He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

Wildcard: A Book of Pure Awesome

On Wednesday of this week, I was wandering through Whitcoulls, the local bookstore, when I stumbled upon A Book of Pure Awesome.

Said Book of Pure Awesome

When I saw it on the shelf, my eyes widened and I blurted hysterically to the people I was with, "Look at this!" Except I cracked about three highs in that short sentence. Then I proceeded to remove the book from the shelf and immersed myself in its awesome.

Needless to say, I went home that day with another book, called How Language Works, to add to my collection. I've always been interested in linguistics and phonetics, but I've never actually taken the time to do much research on either. But this book is a great place for me to start, and so far it's fascinating.

Look, it even has diagrams!

More diagrams!

A family tree!

Obviously, I'm excessively excited about reading this book. The author, David Crystal, is incredibly clear and concise, covers a wide range of related topics and is a great teacher. Plus, it's a book on linguistics. What more could you want?

Have you come across any Books of Pure Awesome lately?

21 Minus: Interview with Gracie!

21 Minus is here!

As Anna Wagner, the organiser of this sweet event, describes it, "21 Minus is my attempt to bring together a group of fantastic young writers, all aged twenty-one or younger, and let them tell their stories via questions asked by their peers. It will also feature some great giveaways (including an ARC of GRIM!) and should be lots of fun all the way around."

The idea is, each participant interviews another participant. Although we knew who we were interviewing, we had no idea who was interviewing us. When the interviews are posted (today!) we include the link to the blog of the person we interviewed, so everyone can blog hop to find out who interviewed whom!

So, if you want to meet some cool young writers, you can join in the blog hop and go and read everyone's interviews! Plus, I hear there are prizes involved ...

Anyway, today I interviewed Gracie from I Am A Writer, Hear Me Roar:

1) Why did you choose to start blogging?

It all started with a book, of course — Your First Novel by Ann Rittenberg and Laura Whitcomb, which is a book about how to write a book and go through the process of getting published. I read it and it referred me to a whole bunch of good websites about publishing, etc. One of the websites it suggested was Guide to Literary Agents, so for some reason I signed up for an e-mail subscription, even though at that point I had no interest in trying to get an agent. Then one of the features they had referred me to some writer’s blogs, and I discovered the insane online world of writers and publication. I remembered a blog I had started and left in the dust about writing and such, so I decided to revive it and see where it could go. Personally, I just wanted to blog because I wanted to have fun sharing ideas and whatnot. Also, it’s writing.

2) How (and why) did you start writing?

How? Well, when I was four, I started to painstakingly carve out wobbly letters with a pencil crayon... actually I have no idea. I was really young when I started writing and started loving it. Ever since I can remember, I wanted to be an author. Some little kids have those crazy dreams for a career – Disney princess, superhero, whatever. Not me. I have always wanted to be an author. I think a lot of the reason I got into writing so young though was because of my love of reading, and that probably came from my parents somewhat, because they both like to read.

3) What do you think are the best things about the online writing community?

What you can learn, I think. There is so much to learn about writing and publishing, but you can find so much information online. Sometimes I’ll hear things about people doing the exact wrong thing when looking for a literary agent or whatever, and I just don’t understand how they somehow don’t find the information they need when the resources are right there at their fingertips. You just have to take the initiative to go and find the information you need.

Publishing isn’t the only thing to learn about online, either. I’ve learned about stuff I never would have thought. There’s so many different opinions about books and various things to do with books... it could be like, a philosophy course or something. So I guess the discussion about various book/book-related issues is another awesome thing about the online writing community. J

4) How does your family influence or support you in your writing?

I’m not one of those people who has to be constantly yammering on to everyone about their current characters and stories, but my family is definitely supportive. One thing that is really awesome is that my parents are actually parents that don’t just automatically love my work, especially my dad. If I want them to properly critique it, then they will. Usually I’ll get them to look over my work if I’m planning to submit it somewhere, and the feedback they’ve given in the past has been extremely helpful. As far as influencing my writing... my blog writing is influenced more by my family than my WIPs, just because my stories are usually really weird and it’s harder to fit real-life situations into them, although I’m sure eventually aspects of my family life will appear somewhere...

5) What's the hardest thing about writing?

Making myself sit down and WRITE. I have no idea why, but that is what’s hardest for me - making myself stop surfing the internet or reading or whatever else and just writing the ideas in my head. I’ll have the whole next scene planned out, but I won’t sit down and write it. Oh, I have a good quote, by Gene Fowler: “Writing is easy: all you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper until the drops of blood form on your forehead.”

6) What are your thoughts on the YA genre at the moment?

That’s certainly a broad question... I love YA, which makes sense, because I am currently a Young Adult. Yes, there’s a lot of stereotypes and things done over and over again in YA, but there are millions of books in the world. Out of all of those, I’m sure I can find books that I like. There’s a lot more to YA than just vampires and dystopian worlds. Lots of people seem to like throwing out general statements about YA these days, but really you can’t do that. There’s too many books, too much variety, too much uniqueness to just put them all in a group and make a statement about them.  

7) If you had to describe your latest WIP in one word, what would it be?

Augh. Because that thing is a mess right now! Haha...

*     *     *     *     *

Thanks, Gracie! This was a really fun interview.

Okay. Now, if you want to head over to Gracie's blog and read her interview with another sweet young writer, click here. And for all you need to need about the blog tour, including the details on prizes (and how to win them!), you can visit Anna's blog.

Have fun hopping!

Wildcard: One Year On ...

I've pretty much blown my blogging schedule out of the water this week, I know. The reason is that today is a really important day for me and the rest of my city (and, in a way, the rest of my country), and I felt it would be insensitive to myself to not break from routine and mention it. So, you might find this post a little self-indulgent, but bear with me.

22 February 2011. One year ago today was the devastating 6.3 magnitude earthquake in Christchurch, New Zealand, that claimed the lives of 185 people. I've talked about it a number of times since the conception of Writing Fire, whether it be directly after the event (like here and here) or later on (like here and here).

Today was a day of reflection. I keep thinking about what I was doing this time last year. I remember being so freaked out, and sitting around the table with my family in the dark after the sun had set, with no electricity, listening to the reports on the radio. It felt like we were in a war - which I suppose, in a way, we were. Us against nature.

It's so weird to think that it's been an entire year. In the last twelve months, I've had a ridiculous amount of time off school, I've shovelled silt (sand and water that bubbles up through the cracked ground) out of a number of peoples' yards, moved furniture, and I've gone to school from 1:00PM to 6:00PM. So much of my normal life was affected.

But then, so much went on as usual, too - at least for me. I ran this blog, I kept writing, kept reading, passed my exams, hung out with old people, met new people, experienced the ups and downs of teenage life (don't get me started).

And through everything, normal or not (if that word even has any meaning anymore), Christchurch has pressed on. We're starting out the other side. The journey to recovery has begun - and, yes, it has a long way to go - but it's begun. Things will never be exactly as they were, but different isn't necessarily bad. It just means getting used to a new future, but one that's no less bright than what might have been.

That's what the entire city remembered at 12:51PM today, the time when the quake struck one year ago. Hundreds of thousands of people observed two minutes silences, reflecting on the struggles and triumphs of the past year and looking to the future.

And, as a mark of respect, thousands of road-cones still marking off damaged areas were decorated with flowers. People went out and put roses and all sorts in the top of them, making something beautiful out of a symbol of destruction.

Kia kaha, Christchurch.

Wildcard: Writerly Phenomena

Since I became a writer, I've noticed a few writerly phenomena that can occur from time to time. Some a very different to others, but they're all unnaturally awesome (or un-awesome) and relate to writing in some way. Here are just a select few of them:

Purple Tree Syndrome. This one is pretty generic, and it has more to do with reading than writing - but close enough, I thought. I coined the term Purple Tree Syndrome sometime last week. It basically occurs when you're reading a book and your eyes are looking at the words, but you aren't actually taking any of them in because you are too busy thinking about purple trees or something equally irrelevant. Then you have to go back a re-read the entire sentence, paragraph or even page in order to pick up the meaning you missed the first time. If you have a particularly bad case of the syndrome, you may have to re-read up to three or four times.

Writer Recognition. This is when you can tell a writer from a muggle - I mean, from an ordinary member of society - while knowing very little about them and using only their appearance as a guide. This happened to me the other day when I asked one of my new teachers if she was a writer - and she was! Sweet guessing skills, I know. When she asked why I had asked, I said, "Well, I write stuff, too. And ... you just strike me as the kind of person who would write." Of course, it did help that she was an English teacher.

Aiding the Future. This is always helpful, in any area of life. But, in writing, this happens when you have a seemingly unimportant idea, then months later it turns out to be the most useful idea ever. I had this happen to me when I was stuck in the dark chasms of writers' block (*shudders*). I needed a new idea to move forward, but I couldn't think of anything that would fit. Then suddenly I remembered an idea I had had four months ago, and I realised that expanding on it would do exactly what I needed! Thank-you four-months-ago-Nick! Of course, the reciprocal of this is Hindering the Future, when you drive yourself down a street that turns out to be a dead end.

Writerly Perception. Perception is a phenomenon, even when it isn't related to writing (I was shocked when I learned that, too). But it's still incredible how different people view writing very differently. This image that's been circulating Facebook recently pretty much sums that all up:

So, there you have it. What are a few writerly phenomena you've come across?

Guest Wildcard: The Just Culprit, or the Culprit Just?

Today I have the privilege of welcoming a very important person to me. He's a gifted teacher, preacher, and as you'll soon learn, writer. With many years of experience behind him (I'm not sure if he'd appreciate me saying how many), he today delves into one of the sneakiest adverbs. So, with no further, may I introduce my fantastic dad, Warren Hight. (And because everyone loves giveaways, he's featuring one of those, too!)

*     *     *     *     *

I was marking an assignment the other day, a book review. The student had written that the author “in the first chapter just laid out the basic facts.” The basic facts in this case were foundational to later steps the author went on to develop. I stopped because something jarred within me as I read it.

If the basic facts were essential to what followed, how in any possible reading of them could the author just lay them out? That little word had robbed his sentence of all its power. The author laid out the basic facts, nothing just about it. It was intentional, it was necessary.

I remember years ago I was attending a chapel service and during the notices the speaker stopped short and said, “Bother, I used that word.” What word? I had to think back over what he had said. It was this same little culprit. An adverb, I believe. And I have been told by the owner of this blog site that a writer ought to avoid adverbs—and clichés—like the plague.

Yet I find myself saying it all the time—and then correcting myself; because if it’s worth doing or saying it’s worth not just doing or just saying! “What are you up to?” “Just writing.” Not meaning, exclusively focussed on a writing. Not meaning, go away I’m busy. Meaning, oh, it’s not so important, I don’t think you’d really be interested. Writing Fire suggests passion, determination. Nothing just about that, you know!

Now, I don’t even need to argue that just is a very good word—perhaps even one that any character in any story could justly own. Just and true, noble; or, “Oh, that things were just” (we can come to terms with unfair, eventually); and, of course, when you have just finished something, meaning only now have you completed what you were doing—who can fault that? But when I short change the labour, discounting the noble intent, this is what I abhor, and abhor in myself as often as it slips out. “I just wanted to give you a call,” and we sound somehow apologetic.

I am awed to think that writers and authors will read this; I wonder if your characters let slip the occasional ‘just’ without thinking? I suppose a character saturated in the argot of some levels of conversational culture will accurately reflect this tendency of ours, and be the better drawn character for it! But story characters are often less lazy than we are in real life, and the words of their speech are born of due deliberation.

My admiration goes to Nick for his initiative with this blog, and my thanks to him for entertaining the idea of me posting a “wild-card” blog. I just hope he’ll publish it. And if he does, by way of thanks, I’ll have a copy of Kipling’s Just So Stories sent to a random commenter.

Wildcard: Why Commenting Is Important

Most of us follow tons of blogs. Often hundreds, sometimes over a thousand. But how many do you actually, truly follow? Maybe not as many as you thought. The truth is that Blogger lies to you each and every day - not all of your followers are actually following you; not all of my followers are actually following me. And you aren't actually following all the blogs you've subscribed to, and nor am I.

To actually follow someone's blog means more than just to click the "follow" button. It means to actively participate in what they're doing. To give your opinion, support, feedback, express your interest in what they have to say. And the best way to do this on any blog is through these magic things called ...

... comments.

Of course, there are only 24 hours in each day, and there's never enough time to follow everyone we'd like to. There's never enough time to be an active part of everyone's blogs. Heck, there's hardly enough time to be an active part of anyone's blog.

So, this is where comments come in. Comments are great because they don't have to be long at all, and they only take a minute to write. And it could be simply something like: "Neat post!" But this doesn't matter. because the real meaning of a comment is in the subtext: "Hey. I'm actually following you. I'm interested in what you're saying. I enjoy your opinion and your voice. Plus, I exist. See your 57th follower? That's not a robot from Antarctica. That's me."

This is why comments are important. They're an easy way to show a blogger that you're listening. And I'll admit that this is something I need to work on, but these are simply my thoughts on the matter.

*     *     *     *     *

While we're on the topic of comments, I have an award to give out! David Powers King decided to be awesome by giving me the Great Comments Award, and so now I'm passing it on to my top commenters (wait a sec - is commenters even a word?):

Heather

Ty-shaun Coles

Paul Joseph

Kelley

Laura

Jackson Porter

Jay Noel

J. A. Bennett

Mark Koopmans

Mark Noce

Lillie McFerrin

Sarah Pearson

Thank you all for sharing your voice on this blog. I appreciate it!