When I was only three and in kindergarten, I fell head-over-heels for this girl. I don't even remember her name (I'll just call her Jess), but she was the prettiest girl my young eyes had ever seen. So, one day at kindergarten, my buddies and I were just chilling and doing nothing much, drawing pictures or playing in the sandpit or doing whatever it is that three-year-olds do.
Then Jess came up to me and asked if I wanted to play with her. Here was me at this point:
I had played with her before, but this time it would be different. Being the intelligent little guy that I was, I had a plan.
The game we were going to play was one that involved her being my mum (if I remember correctly). And so while she went outside with the others, I rushed to the nearest table, grabbed some paper and a crayon and wrote "I love you Mum". Subtle and smooth - it was genius. (Don't ask me how I knew how to write that as a three-year-old.)
So, I went to join the others. After a while, I slipped my note to Jess. I expected her to smile, or at least say thanks or something.
But no.
Jess took one look at it, scowled, screwed it up and threw it to the ground. You can guess what I did.
And yes, I cried with my eyes open. And so, in my hour of darkness, when all seemed lost and I was crying my head off in front of Jess, I flung my arms around my kindergarten teacher and uttered my famous three-year-old line (and I'll end with this, because it is so intensely insightful that you will probably burst into flames):
"A girl's brain goes round and round and doesn't know what it's doing." Wow. SO INTENSE.
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