Friday, March 9, 2012

Campaign: Nowhere to Run

“Told you it was suicide.”
     I crawled to the wall under the bridge and sat up against it, listening to the sound of the rain on the city streets above. “Lies,” I grunted through barred teeth, pain shooting through my leg. “I'm still here.” I grinned.
     Patrick glowered at me. “Cut it out. You were this damn close.” He held up his thumb and forefinger a quarter inch apart. “You're lucky to be alive still. Those men out there are highly trained – they could have killed you.”
     “But they didn't.”
     Patrick slicked back his wet hair and growled, “I don't care! Look, this isn't a game, all right? In case you haven't noticed, we're fugitives, John. Fugitives. There isn't a doctor in a hundred miles who will get that bullet out without calling the cops. And you're in no condition to get that far.”
     “But we have to get out her somehow. We can't just wait!”
     Patrick looked out towards the flashing blue and red lights. “But we can't run, either.”
     “Then what are we gonna do?”
     “Yeah,” Patrick mumbled. “That's just it. … That's just it.”

14 comments:

  1. Why do I get the feeling that Patrick is about to do something bad, very bad?

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  2. In half a page you managed to get across the fact that Pat is in deep -bleep- with nothing but a rock and a hard place surround him.
    Very nice.
    Even if I've never read the story or its synopsis, it allows the imagination to color in what has possibly taken place and what is coming ahead.

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  3. Oooh…great excerpt. Very intriguing. I agree with everything MyTricksterGod said. =)

    Also, I've given you the Kreativ Blogger Award over at my blog, http://amanda-the-aspiring.blogspot.com/2012/03/kreativ-blogger.html . Again, great writing—good luck with this! ^_^

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  4. Ohhh...what a cliff-hanger! Great job. ^^

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  5. What's the plan? Tell me, tell me :-)

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  6. Great Dialogue and way to go "hook" that leaves the reader wanting to here more. Small mistake you might want to fix : “But we have to get out her somehow. We can't just wait!” Sometimes those fingers move faster than the eyes, am I right? Really enjoyed reading this though.

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  7. Love the blog! I've tagged you in a writing-themed meme on mine :)

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  8. Hi, you've been tagged in the Lucky 7 meme! Details are here: http://sorchanr.blogspot.com/2012/03/hi-there-nick-wilford-me-in-lucky-7.html

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  9. You haven't posted in a while. This is one of my favorite teen writers blog. I hope you post again soon.
    ~Sarah F.

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  10. Hi, I've tagged you with the Lucky 7 Meme. Check my blog for details.

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  11. An interesting extract. I'd like to know more

    http://jackedwardspoetry.blogspot.co.uk/

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